Perpetual Chaos of a Wandering Mind: my writing

Writing dialog provides ample opportunity to trip up the reader. In this post, I discuss the four most prevalent.

He Said/She Said

Have you ever read something that went like this?

"You just don't understand," I said.
"Tell me what I don't understand," Maggie said.
"Anything," I said.

Boring! Flat. Redundant.

Use the plethora of verbs that identify speech, as well as those which evoke visceral responses. Some eschew the use of identifiers as an unnecessary distraction, but by inserting carefully considered words in appropriate places, counterproductive becomes enhancement. What does "retorted" say about a discussion? What about murmured or sighed or blurted or cooed?

"You just don't understand," I sigh.
"What don't I understand?" Maggie probes.

But, even that gets old very quickly. Use the many tools available to prevent this, as I identify in "Say What?" below.

In some instances, especially in situations of continuous dialog, simple running quotations serve. The reader is hurrying forward, so no need to slow them down:

"You just don't understand," I sigh.
Mary steps closer to me. "What don't I understand."
"Anything! You don't ever see what goes on around you."
"That's not fair."
"But it's true."
"I don't know why you believe that."

I think of it as a train working up a head of steam. The first identifiers are the initial chug-chug-chugs, until the conversation reaches a pretty good clip and sails along, eliminating the need for further explanation.

However, as a writer, one must be careful of the danger (one I often stumble into) of losing track of who said what. To avoid this, throw in a physical response indicating emotion and/or a bit of staging to remind the reader (and yourself) who's doing the talking.

By Photoplay magazine [Public domain],
via Wikimedia Commons

A deleted scene from My Father's Son

Durant blinked and forced his thoughts back into he room. He did not know how or if he should even attempt to answer that question, but one glance at the lady before him bespoke her utmost need for the information.

He wondered how to begin, then recalled the watch in his pocket. It was not the chronometer he had purchased that morning.

Rather, it was very old and very precious. The workmanship was unsurpassed, but for what it meant to Jeanne, to all the Marchands, to Isabella, and to himself, it was irreplaceable. He had found it in LeDuc’s desk at the study as he cleaned out the drawers.

He knew exactly what it was, and could not help but sense that his father had it put there of a purpose, knowing Durant would know exactly what to do with it.

Durant had brought the watch along with him on that venture, thinking he would return it to Madam Marchand. However, for reasons he little cared to explore, it always remained in his pocket.

The voice inside him which he tried to follow told him that it was as intended, for Jeanne required it just then, and that it was vital that he give it to her. She had to understand. She could not go seeking answers from that creature.