My Comment to The Cure for Perfection
There were 8 whole comments when I first started writing this comment yesterday morning. I've given it a lot of thought, a lot of writing, a lot of deleting, and finally decided it's impossible to put 35 years of struggle in two paragraphs, or to leave religion out of it, since I would have never reached any of these conclusions without my faith. However, the biggest factor in my deciding not to go into detail: this is my husband's story as much as my own, and I have to respect his right to privacy.
I've had lupus since I was 14. I got married when I was 17. My husband had just turned 19. I gave birth to our first son when I was 19. He was diagnosed with insulin-dependent diabetes mellitus when he was 21. The first 15 years of our marriage were a long string of tag-team hospitalizations, the drain of medical expenses, both of us struggling to control our disease, major surgeries for me, and the high-risk pregnancies of three sons, all bound together with under- and unemployment when my husband got kicked out of the Air Force for having diabetes. To say we had a rocky marriage would be an understatement. Our expectations of marriage were diametrically opposed. Our life together was one very small, very leaky boat caught in a raging storm that never ended, with both people trying to captain the vessel and no one manning the crew.